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| Brighton Pride 2011 |
Kids these days are being persuaded to embrace their sexual orientation and to come out if they define themselves as anything other than heterosexual.
"Be proud of who you are," we say, "Don't hide in the closet," we shout. Sorry but, where did this closet actually come from? Is anything else in the closet? Are spare clothes in the closet too? Cause I'd quite like a new dress.
If you're not 'out', being 'in the closet' sounds like you're hiding, which isn't always the case. What's wrong with not telling people? It's not their business to know. Will your sexual orientation affect the way that they live their life? Is withholding such a trivial matter going to cause them harm? Does it change your personality?
While I agree that you should embrace yourself and who you are, I see almost no point in 'coming out' at all.
Note: When I say 'coming out', I mean making a ceremony/big deal out of it. I'm not saying don't do this, I'm saying I don't think it's always necessary.
I understand that it feels great to get a weight off of your chest (and it feels awesome, coming from personal experience) - but unless you're dating someone, why does it matter?
If someone asks you what your sexual orientation is because they wish to date you etc, by all means, tell them, because then they have a right to know; it's like asking if someone's single. But otherwise, I don't see why people need to know.
There have been several young people who have asked members of the gay community if they should come out, even though they may get kicked out/disowned/killed. Unless you have a back-up plan, don't risk coming out if it could negatively impact your life to such a large degree - it isn't worth it
Sexuality doesn't have to be this big deal, it's just something that exists within you.
"I'm gay" is also like me saying, "I like pizza" -- a fact about me that does not affect you, the way you function or my personality. I am more than JUST a girl who likes pizza.
You are more than your sexual orientation.
I'm not saying never come out, or I would be a hypocrite; come out if it will make you happy, not because you feel it's something that an LGBTQ person has to do.
I see your point, Sticks, but I think the difference between coming out as gay and coming out as straight, as it were, is that heterosexuality is widely accepted as a given. Obviously I don't think you should come out in situations that could endanger your life, but coming out at school, or to friends and family is important because it actually normalizes homosexuality - the more openly gay people you know, the more it becomes a non-issue and just part of the fabric of life. I agree, in an ideal world, being gay wouldn't be seen as any more significant than liking pizza... But until every LGBT person, personally, religiously and professionally, can live a life equal to that of a straight person, coming out is, in some small way, doing its part.
ReplyDeleteI guess you do have a point too - but surely coming out also highlights the fact that it's something 'different', especially if a big deal is made of it. Coming out in conversation, I guess I don't have an issue with, because it can come up easily, but...sitting people down and making an 'announcement', I just don't find it necessarily if it isn't needed.
DeleteBut I do definitely get you, I guess I'm only thinking about how I see it - not a big deal, but in the grand scheme of things, I guess we still have a long way to go! I don't like admitting that, though. :/