This has been a real conflict for me - would I ever seriously date someone who wasn't vegan? (when I say 'date', I actually mean seriously date, someone you plan on spending a large part of your life with)
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Veganism is such a big part of my life that, before, I didn't see much of a point in dating someone who viewed certain animal products as commodities and tasty treats. Yeah, it's easy to focus on other things that you like or have in common...but being vegan affects a lot of my personality, what I choose to do, how I react to certain things etc...it isn't like being really into a band.
Speaking of, I used to have the idea that I didn't really want to date anyone unless they shared a similar taste in music...but music doesn't affect who someone is (a certain type of person doesn't listen to rock music for example), yet a lot of vegans have proven that they give a shit about animals and are conscious about what they put in/on their body....I've never met a vegan who isn't compassionate, kind, and genuinely animal-loving. Veganism isn't just a diet, it's a lifestyle.
This might sound pretentious to some people, but it makes sense. Like, for example, if you're a feminist, could you date someone who's misogynistic and sees no point in feminism, even if they treated you well? Just like veganism, feminism affects how someone sees the world, what they do, what they're passionate about etc.
So what's my overall view? I could date someone who still used animal products IF they were open to the idea of stopping/wanted to stop eventually. If it's taking a while, then I understand that - I once met a vegan who told me it took her five years to give up animal products altogether, and that didn't mean that she didn't care, it meant that it was a hard process.
To become vegan, or even vegetarian, you have to dismiss everything that you've probably been told your entire life - you need to look past the constant adverts, animal-consumer mentality, everyone around you saying that using animals is completely okay...and that's fucking difficult, even when you do become veg*an. I still struggle with the animal-consumer society, but in a different way - instead of struggling to break free from all I've known, I struggle to understand why people are so apathetic or downright aggressive when it comes to using animals.
And I understand the aggression - telling someone that [you believe] what they've been doing and love their entire life is grotesque and actually causes a lot of pain and suffering for the animals, the planet, and the human race can be hard-hitting, people are bound to get defensive...so I get that, but if people take a second to properly think about what they're doing instead of immediately getting in vegans' faces, they'll realise we're not just saying this to piss them off.
In conclusion - yes, I would date someone who wasn't vegan...but not if they have no intention to ever change that or think that veganism is a waste of time. If they find the idea of vegetarianism appealing even, that's still fine, because a lot of veggies eventually do become vegan...it's like a stepping stone (it must be incredibly hard to go vegan right away).
....But I still won't approve of them using animals; what I will approve of is their will to change.
I find this a very interesting point of view. While I understand that you would not want to date anyone with such a different lifestyle from you and that most vegans will probably be compassionate and very aware of the environment etc. I also believe that you can find all of those qualities in someone who does consume animal products. For example I myself am not a vegan or vegetarian although I make sure that the meat that i do eat is sustainable and comes from a good place where it will have had a good quality of life. I also think that these qualities can be shown in different ways other than just diet although it is a big step. Anyway I just felt the need to point out that all of those qualities can be found in people who have any sort of diet but will often be expressed in different ways. Your choice to only seriously date people with a lifestyle similar to yours is fair enough though :)
ReplyDeleteHello there!
DeleteYeah I understand what you're saying - of course animals eaters/users can be compassionate etc, but it's a lot easier to pretty much guarantee what someone is like in regards to animals etc if they refuse to indulge in it full stop. I'm sure that not all animal rescue people are vegan or vegetarian either, but it's more than just that, compassion etc was just one example. :)
If I meet someone who thinks that using animals is awful, whether they're killed humanely (I don't think there's such a thing as 'humane' in regards to this anyway) or not, I'm more likely to get on with them compared to people like yourself who still eat meat, does that make sense?
Just a quickie - my cousin has been vegan for years and is getting married next year to a massive meat eater! Dunno how she feels about it, never really asked as I don't see them that often, but when we went to stay with them a year or two ago and got some meat for tea she said she doesn't mind people eating it or even cooking it herself as long as she doesn't have to actually touch it or anything.
ReplyDeleteEvery vegan is different.
DeleteSome vegans probably don't even mind preparing meat for other people (I know a vegetarian who doesn't mind this, so I'm sure a lot of vegans have the same mindset). Some vegans stay silent when it comes to meat debates, some don't mind wearing animals from second hand shops etc etc.
Everyone's different, it's just really not my bag. Plus, it makes me personally upset when people eat meat without a care in the world....so I couldn't share my life with someone like that; even if I really liked them, it would get to me sooner or later.